How A Leopard Changed His Spots

I've spent my entire life trying desperately to be something I am not. In middle school, you never knew who I would be on any given week, cheerleader one week, tomboy another. This, unfortunately, didn't end there, in some regards this has seeped into my adulthood too. It's tiresome work and I can't believe I keep doing it to myself, even though I never get to where I want to be, I just keep hoping that I will become something else other than me. How would you feel if your personality style was likened to a monster that orchestrated the murders of millions, a British man that is renowned for his bad temper in the kitchen, and a superhero villain?  I pretty much have the worst personality ever, so why wouldn't I want to change?   But, recently, after taking a Myers-Briggs test (for the millionth time), I looked at my results and said, "well, I guess I just need to work with this." It's the person I am meant and created to be. Wow is that hard to accept! I want to be liked, I want to be popular, I want to be loved so badly I am willing to change my spots for that acceptance. It's hard to see the good in me, it's easier to see the bad. I'm loud, opinionated, obnoxiously needy, passionate, emotionally unstable and speak before I think. How could any of that win me awards or friends? But, I have to believe that I have a purpose and that I am intelligent enough to take me and make me better. I am, after all, created in the image and likeness of God and if I can be real with others, I can be real with myself. I read somewhere that out of all the Apostles, Paul was the only one to travel alone because he was hard around the edges. I would like to think of myself as a modern day St. Paul, I've been knocked off the horse more times than I care repeating but I'll get there......I hope! This Lent, is just a great time to challenge myself into living my life the way God intended it to be and be me. It's time to allow myself to understand that the things that I do like about myself, others don't necessarily appreciate and that I just need to be ok with that. I need to be ok with the fact that people annoy me and let me down, so I just have to give them grace and mercy. I will always have high expectations of things, but I just need to be realistic even within the parameters of my expectations.......just to name a few. It's scary as all get out, but what else can I do? I've tried everything else, I have no one left to be.