Tribe Time

What is your definition of a friend? I was posed this question and could not answer it. As per usual, I'm analyzing and pondering out loud (or rather just in this post) the eternal question: what is a friend? Pardon the stream of consciousness but this is the way I work through problems and hopefully it will help those out there that feel isolated or without a tribe. "Tribe" that's the word being used to name a group of women who seem too idyllic to be true. Women helping other women? Women hanging out on a regular basis, weekly? Women who get together with their families on a more than once a month basis? Women who don't annoy each other? Does that even exist? In my experience.......this is very farfetched. In the last 5 years or so, my experience with other women, when trying to be friends, has not been very positive and has led me to some deep contemplation on this topic. I read a post that dealt with this issue and the writer said that she was happy for those women that have a tribe, I'm not there yet. She assumed that it was because she was an introvert or that she liked to stay home or that she was an acquired taste. I can only relate to the last part; I know I am an acquired taste. But to this point of being acquired taste, I was thinking that well maybe those women who have that tribe are women who only talk about the surface things and don't dive deep. Women who know how to suppress their "real" selves and who "make nice" with everyone. I'm not one of those women and I don't want to be. Is being that way needed to be one of the "in crowd"?  I am complex, and I guess my definition of friendship needs to be complex too. Someone who I can talk to everyday about things going on in my life, from the mundane to the intense. Someone that challenges me but allows me to challenge them right back. Someone who won't want to "fix me" or pander to me or make me feel like a child.  Someone who doesn't get upset easily by things that might fly out of my mouth because of a low filter. I want to be free to be me in this person's presence. Are you that person? Does that person exist? Are you worth the wait and can you deal with a broken soul? Am I that person to others? I think that in the end, the people you will call "friend" changes as your season in life changes and you grow as a person. This is not the end of the discussion or of my analysis. I know that there are many more areas that I need to look at and really hash out before I come to a satisfactory conclusion, but until then, I am here and I'm learning to be better, I'm learning to be content and wait.